Helplessness again

I don't want to become a "you"

I don't want to be like you are.

I don't want to loose control of

myself again.

I don't want to be like you.

I don't want to be caged

in this barless cage.

I don't want to be trapped

by this endless web nor

being eaten by its root spider.

I don't want to be like you.

I want to feel free

be free

I don't want this heavy burden

to burn my shoulders

anymore.

I am feed up with it.

I don't want you, but

I can not leave you

because you are a part

of myself.

I would like to understand

and know where does this rage come from?

I would like but I won't

coz I know it would be

useless.

Because you can not help

someone that doesn't want to be

helped.

I don't want to be blinded

by this rage

I will not allow your rage

to blind me anymore.

Because you are a broken heart

and a broken heart can't be saved.

But you will not drag me

to your personal hell

with you

Because my world without that rage

is a brightest as you can even imagine

As brightness as you can't even dream of.

Oh bloody rage, it is dragging you to the shadows

and I can not help it.

Bloody helplessness of mine!

Escrito por eleandor el 02/04/2011 21:41 | Comentarios (0)

Welcome to the brightest world ever

Today has been a wonderful day. An euphoric one. The reasons? A couple of good moments. Even though today I've attended class from 4 to 8 and one of the subjects is dreadful, today it has been a wonderful day.

Because I've enjoyed talking with other people, enjoyed being able to follow today's lessons. Happy because the coffee has made its effect and has allowed me to follow class at 3 P.M when my body wants nothing but to have a good nap.

Happy because I feel ok when I arrive home at night. I feel like I've always lived there. My flatmates are like my little family. I'll miss them when I'm gone.

Happy because we've got a tiny new flatmate! It can sound weird but our new companion is an hyperactive jet black hamster! An adorable one. He was a present from someone we're not very fond of, however it doesn't matter right now. The happiness he's bringing to us is pay less. Now we're even closer than before, he (or she, we don't even know the sex) is the one who makes us forget about our pains and obligations just by looking at him. And I think this is something amazing, isn't it?

Some people would say that I am a grey person, that I am not able to write positive and good things.

Now, I would like to point out that I am much more than you think I am. I think I've got a rich inner life, and that the melancholic tone of most of my writings are just a part of the style of my writing. The truth is that I do like being a melancholic person. But the fact that I am a melancholic girl doesn't mean that I don't enjoy or want to enjoy life. You don't have to be worried about, I'm managing quite well, I've always done.

I do think that melancholy is beautiful, like a kind of catharsis, something that you  feel identified with. That's why my favourite period is Romanticism and the book I like the most is Jane Eyre.

Forgive me about my bad English, I know is really bad and that I've done a good couple of serious mistakes but believe me I'm working on it! :)

Ciao and let the light of today's beautiful moon enlighten you!